What is said is said. When a word comes out of one’s mouth, I CONSIDER IT DONE.
I never say anything half-meant. If it is, then I’d rather not say it. My emotions at a certain moment do not necessarily have anything to do with what I say. Which means, you can never hear me tell you, “I only said that out of anger, but forget it, it wasn’t true after all.” NO. Whatever comes out of my mouth, IT’S FINAL.
I may choose to hold it, yes. I may have chosen not to let you hear it because I did not want to hurt you. I may have waited for an agitating moment or a bad fight to finally say it, but I WOULD NEVER TELL YOU THAT if it weren’t TRUE or MEANT FOR YOU.
I’ve been gullible since birth, and this has always been an issue in my interactions with people — whether family, lovers, friends, or colleagues. Whatever these people would say, whether in anger or in joy, I’d believe it 100% because I myself never let out anything that is not valid. So in turn, I treat every word I hear VALID.
I’d hear the usual rebuttals, and the worst that I’ve ever heard was “You hurt me, so I hurt you back.”
This came from my ex-lover when I had a chance to discuss with him point by point everything he blurted out on me during one big fight. I told him that, as for me, I STAND FIRM ON WHATEVER I SAID DURING THAT FIGHT. After all, they were just questions that needed clear answers. They were not insults. However, when asked where all he said came from, he only answered that “EVERYTHING WAS SAID OUT OF ANGER AND WERE NOT NECESSARILY TRUE”; he did not anymore think before opening his mouth because he needed to GET EVEN at that very moment. I ended up questioning this because everything I heard was so detailed and was enough to make me realize what concept he had of me from the very start.
Add to my ex, I’ve been hearing the same “I only said it out of anger” argument from my father all the time. And I hear this from so many other people, especially those who get so obvious when saying just anything to hurt you back, even to the level of nonsense.
Why say false things in order to hurt a person or just to get even? I may have let out SO MANY PAINFUL THINGS during a fight, but I’m 100% sure THESE WERE ALL TRUE and were just waiting for the right time to be said. And believe me, no matter how situations or relationships would get better, I would never take anything back. That works the same way with telling me something false that happened to hurt. No matter how one takes it back, THE DAMAGE HAS BEEN DONE.
“Jokes with a yoke” fall in the list, too, because I believe nothing would ever come out of one’s mouth without any basis – without prior thought, prior idea, or prior knowledge. So the popular answer, “no, that was nothing, forget it…,” is never welcome to me. It tics me off to the highest level. You said it, so (1) you complete it; (2) you tell me why; or (3) tell me what made you say that, tell me where that came from. No matter how it hurts, I need to hear it in full. I’d rather have it hurting me than have it left unsaid. Whatever it is, if it has concrete basis, if it is true, I’ll accept it.
Words are not born out of nowhere. Words are weapons, POTENT WEAPONS, and speech is power. It’s good to think a hundred times before saying anything.
Remember, it is always a shame to take it back.