Words are potent weapons

What is said is said. When a word comes out of one’s mouth, I CONSIDER IT DONE.

I never say anything half-meant. If it is, then I’d rather not say it. My emotions at a certain moment do not necessarily have anything to do with what I say. Which means, you can never hear me tell you, “I only said that out of anger, but forget it, it wasn’t true after all.” NO. Whatever comes out of my mouth, IT’S FINAL.

I may choose to hold it, yes. I may have chosen not to let you hear it because I did not want to hurt you. I may have waited for an agitating moment or a bad fight to finally say it, but I WOULD NEVER TELL YOU THAT if it weren’t TRUE or MEANT FOR YOU.

I’ve been gullible since birth, and this has always been an issue in my interactions with people — whether family, lovers, friends, or colleagues. Whatever these people would say, whether in anger or in joy, I’d believe it 100% because I myself never let out anything that is not valid. So in turn, I treat every word I hear VALID.

I’d hear the usual rebuttals, and the worst that I’ve ever heard was “You hurt me, so I hurt you back.”

This came from my ex-lover when I had a chance to discuss with him point by point everything he blurted out on me during one big fight. I told him that, as for me, I STAND FIRM ON WHATEVER I SAID DURING THAT FIGHT. After all, they were just questions that needed clear answers. They were not insults. However, when asked where all he said came from, he only answered that “EVERYTHING WAS SAID OUT OF ANGER AND WERE NOT NECESSARILY TRUE”; he did not anymore think before opening his mouth because he needed to GET EVEN at that very moment. I ended up questioning this because everything I heard was so detailed and was enough to make me realize what concept he had of me from the very start.

Add to my ex, I’ve been hearing the same “I only said it out of anger” argument from my father all the time. And I hear this from so many other people, especially those who get so obvious when saying just anything to hurt you back, even to the level of nonsense.

Why say false things in order to hurt a person or just to get even? I may have let out SO MANY PAINFUL THINGS during a fight, but I’m 100% sure THESE WERE ALL TRUE and were just waiting for the right time to be said. And believe me, no matter how situations or relationships would get better, I would never take anything back. That works the same way with telling me something false that happened to hurt. No matter how one takes it back, THE DAMAGE HAS BEEN DONE.

“Jokes with a yoke” fall in the list, too, because I believe nothing would ever come out of one’s mouth without any basis – without prior thought, prior idea, or prior knowledge. So the popular answer, “no, that was nothing, forget it…,” is never welcome to me. It tics me off to the highest level. You said it, so (1) you complete it; (2) you tell me why; or (3) tell me what made you say that, tell me where that came from. No matter how it hurts, I need to hear it in full. I’d rather have it hurting me than have it left unsaid. Whatever it is, if it has concrete basis, if it is true, I’ll accept it.

Words are not born out of nowhere. Words are weapons, POTENT WEAPONS, and speech is power. It’s good to think a hundred times before saying anything.

Remember, it is always a shame to take it back.

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Stupid grade school biblical tale

When I was little, I was always into reading, the NERD that I was. Whenever my parents would bring me to a mall or department store, should they lose sight of me, they would never get upset; there were only two places where I could be found – the bookstore or the record bar.

During my grade school days at a government elementary school, I was so fond of reading those English storybooks that were supplemental to our English textbooks. I’d seclude myself in one corner and read during recess time rather than play useless games outside that would only lead me to a fight with the bullies.

Today, maybe 26 years after, I suddenly remember one story that I read, the utter STUPIDITY of which makes me furious. It was either from the book “BUILDING ENGLISH SKILLS” or “MORE STORIES ON PARADE” – I can’t figure out exactly. It makes me wonder how the Department of Education has been educating our grade school kids and what kind of thinking they have been trying to inculcate in their poor little minds.

The story was about a family who ran out of money and had nothing to eat one day. The mother was desperate in finding ways. However, no store would extend her credit as she had unpaid dues with everybody. And so, SHE PRAYED to god. After praying, she approached, for the second time, the owner of the biggest store on their street and asked if she could charge some goods. The store owner, maybe tired of her, said yes, but on one condition: NOT BEYOND THE FIRST TICK OF THE WEIGHING SCALE. The mother got some rice, canned goods, sugar, vegetables, cooking oil, and bread and put them on the scale. To her surprise, the scale didn’t move a bit! [Prayers answered???] The store owner was equally surprised and speechless [Oh Yeah???] and, left with no choice, stuttered, “Is that all?” Moral of the story: PRAYERS CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS.

HOLY SHIT! What was the author thinking when he wrote this story?? If I were the store owner, why should I believe that with all that stuff on the scale, it wouldn’t move? If I were the mother, on the other hand, how dumb of me to seize the “opportunity” to put everything I need on that scale and HOPE AGAINST HOPE it wouldn’t move and/or rejoice deep inside at the fact that it didn’t move at all! HOW STUPID OF ALL OF THEM NOT TO REALIZE THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE SCALE!

The most stupid thing of all is the Department of Education approving the publication of such story in some grade school English book. Did it ever cross their minds that anything taught to a child in his formative years is very difficult to unlearn? Did they ever consider that the heaviest part of educating our children is GIVING THEM A FIRM GRASP OF REALITY and not creating UNREALISTIC scenarios on the manifestation of [the useless] god’s mercy? Did they ever realize that what they published could affect a child’s ability to distinguish fact from fancy?

It was good I was the only one who got too interested in those books back in grade school as they were just piled up and gathering dust in one corner. Thank goodness only a few kids then had enough facility to understand English literature. Thank heavens everybody else wanted to play outside. Otherwise, a greater number of kids would have been exposed to such misleading, senseless tale. There could be more; who knows?